Something really shocking happened the day before… Something which shook me up from the core…
My friend and I decided to go to this corner place for lunch. I don’t like Biryani, and normally I don’t join her, but for some weird reason, I agreed. So we went, lost in our own tiny little worlds, talking and laughing about random stuff…
We had just reached the shop, when she suddenly clasped my hand. I asked her what it was, but she just stood there, numb. I followed her gaze and saw what she had seen… There he was, her boyfriend, with another girl. “Okay, so what? Maybe she’s just a friend or some cousin” I thought. At that very moment, he spotted us, and the smile froze on his face. He grabbed the hand of the girl and left through the other door. We were shocked! We rushed after them. Somehow we caught up with them, and my friend asked him who she was, and he blatantly replied, “girlfriend”. We were befuddled. I asked who she was (referring to my friend) and he replied, “my ex”, and before we could say anything, he started the bike and zoomed off.
A lot happened in two days. A lot of things transpired. Apparently he had been cheating on her from the very beginning. This is the friend whom I had mentioned in my Toxic Relationship article. Anyhoo, we sat and discussed everything today. She kept wondering how she could have failed to seem him for what he was, how she could have trusted him so much, how she could have avoided all those signs that were always there. Turns out, she had always overlooked everything…
Signs Your Partner Might Be Cheating
Cheaters are always sneaky and clever! While there is no sure-fire way of catching them, there are a certain signs which are commonly found. So if you are have your suspicions, it’s time to check if your relationship exhibits any of these signs.
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Your partner lies a lot
One of the first signs of cheating! If your partner lies a lot, for seemingly unnecessary reasons, and you have caught them red-handed quite a few number of times, then it’s time to be cautious. It might be an indication. We all know that lies are always uncovered, sooner or later. If your partner is serious about you, then they will be worried that you might find it out later. If your partner is lying about the most basic stuff (job, income, family, education, etc etc) then that’s probably because they never see any future with you. They know the relationship is temporary, so they lie casually.
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Your instinct says something is wrong
Now, I am not talking about people who are over-possessive and are always fretting over their partner’s fidelity. If you are normally the kind of person who is pretty cool and composed, but for some reason you are always on the edge and are unable to trust your partner, then it might actually mean something, yes! That could be your gut feeling telling you that something is wrong. Trust your instincts. Something might actually be wrong.
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Your partner is suddenly too busy
If your partner is suddenly busy all the time or always working over-time, is too busy to even send a text or return your 10 calls which went to the “missed” folder, is always coming up with excuses to avoid meeting, is suddenly uninterested in/cancels that weekend trip you were planning for months, always keeps checking the time when you are together, goes to great extents to avoid spending more time together or goes missing for great chunks of time, then it’s time to be careful. Something might be wrong. The person who loves you will always be looking forward to spend time with you. If they are suddenly uninterested, it’s time to be alert.
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Your partner is always looking for reasons to initiate a fight
If your partner is suddenly acting too sensitive, fighting and arguing over the tiniest of issues, acting defensive whenever asked about their whereabouts and accusing you, and is taking longer and longer to resolve differences, it might be because he/she is cheating on you. They might actually looking for some time away from you so that they can go spend some time with their newfound love or finding reasons to end things with you.
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Excessive use of social networking sites
While we all use social networking sites on a daily basis, but if there is a sudden increase in the time spent online, and he/she closes/ minimises/ changes the tab/ app (or acts in any suspicious way) as soon as you walk into the room in an attempt to hide whatever it is that he/she had been doing, then it might mean they are up to something. If he/she is suddenly always online on watsapp, is too active in facebook or in other social networking sites, it might be because they a new found interest.
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You haven’t met a lot of people who are close to your partner
If your partner is a habitual cheater, then it’s possible that he/she won’t introduce you to a lot of people who are close to him/her. If you have never met or know about any of his/her coworkers, friends, family, etc, or your partner wants to keep the relationship a secret, then it’s time to ask why. Try asking your partner to introduce you to his/her friends, etc. and see how he/she reacts.
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Your partner is too secretive with his/her gadgets
Your partner freaks out when you pick up his/her phone to check a few pictures which you took some time back or just to check the time. While I believe some space is essential and necessary to keep the relationship healthy, but if your partner is going to great extents to safeguard his/her phone, has changed the password to access the laptop and is not comfortable with you using his/her laptop, turns off the phone or puts it on flight mode whenever you are around, avoids answering the calls or moves out of the room as soon as their phone rings, talks in low voice, hangs up as soon as you enter the room or talks vaguely in your vicinity, then it might be a signal that he.she has got something to hide.
(These are merely signs which could indicate infidelity. Just because you agree with two of the signs above, that doesn’t imply that your partner is cheating.)
If you have had your suspicions for days and everything he/she does makes you suspicious, and you agree with almost all the signs above, then what do you do? Stop worrying yourself sick. Before jumping to conclusions, it’s always better to be rational about things. Your partner might be preoccupied with something else. If something is bothering you, talk to your partner about it. Communication is the key. See how he/she reacts. Does he/she start another fight with you? Or sits down and tries to comfort you? Whatever happens, follow your instincts, they are stronger than you might believe them to be!
September 14, 2015 at 21:46
What an absolute jerk! Great tips! Guess it’s better she found out sooner rather than later…like after having children or something that sort of binds them forever.
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September 14, 2015 at 23:21
Definitely! She is moving on, and I see her getting stronger every day.
Thank you for your feedback! Much appreciated!
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August 30, 2015 at 09:55
This is heartbreaking. I can’t imagine finding out the person you trust and care about so much about is unfaithful (and totally disrespectful in the way they handle the confrontation). My positive thoughts go out to your friend (and yourself). As for that last quote about walking away from bad vibes is inspiring. I think it is oh so important to always listen to that inner voice. In the mean time, I hope you girls take care. 🙂
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August 30, 2015 at 22:54
It indeed is heartbreaking. But at least she saw his real face. For some reason, we (a few of us friends) never liked that guy, but we never thought he could be cheating upon her. But she was madly deeply completely in love with him. Oh well..
I am sure she will heal with time.. Thank you for your kind words. 🙂
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August 30, 2015 at 09:45
Breaks my heart to think about your friend. I too had a brush with the concept of infidelity – quite recently in fact, and I can imagine how even a lie can destroy your peace of mind. I hope your friend sees her ex for what he is – an insecure idiot. And if you want help in cheering her up, bring her to my blog.
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August 30, 2015 at 22:49
I am sorry to learn that you too had a brush with infidelity. I totally fail to see what could motivate anyone to cheat on someone. That’s just awful.
I took a look at your magazine. Congrats! It looks amazing!
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August 31, 2015 at 05:45
Thanks for looking at the magazine. Much appreciated. My brush with infidelity was slightly remote – my neighbor and wifey’s friend had the nerve to tell her that I might’ve been cheating her online – thankfully it isn’t easy to sway her.
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August 31, 2015 at 08:46
Don’t mention it. You writing is just great. I had to check. 🙂
Ahh that. I did read your post on the same. These are another class of people, they just love creating problems in others’ lives. Good thing your wife stood by you.
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August 31, 2015 at 09:19
We currently exist in a state of truce, but her friendship with Mrs. Chaddha still continues and that troubled me. But then I see her viewpoint. You can’t just shun your immediate neighbors. Thanks again for motivating me to write more.
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September 1, 2015 at 12:02
Yes they are. Wifey thinks that Mrs. Chaddha is just plain jealous.
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September 1, 2015 at 12:22
Haha. That’s good. Good thing you talked things out. 🙂
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September 1, 2015 at 17:37
Yes…we try to understand each other – but sometimes the distance between Mars and Venus is a lot to cover.
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September 6, 2015 at 10:48
I hear you Martian!
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August 29, 2015 at 19:51
As heartbreaking as it is for her at this time, she should consider herself lucky to have gotten rid of a cheater from her life! She deserves much better!
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August 29, 2015 at 20:44
Definitely! She’s glad that now she knows him for what he really is.
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August 29, 2015 at 06:15
She is better off without him anyway. Thank goodness he has been exposed so that she can move on, she deserves better.
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August 29, 2015 at 20:42
Agreed! She’s more shaken up from the fact that she never even thought that he could be cheating upon her.
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August 29, 2015 at 01:14
What an awful situation! Good tips and helpful insights.
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August 29, 2015 at 20:33
It definitely is.
Thank you for the feedback.
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August 29, 2015 at 00:23
OMG! That is so sad, its ok at least your friends knows he is a cheater 😛
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August 29, 2015 at 20:42
True! She will need some time, but she will heal.
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August 29, 2015 at 20:50
Hopefully she will 🙂
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August 29, 2015 at 00:14
Oh it’s really shocking. She must be in pain. I hope you would console her Ananya. 🙂
I wish her peace and happiness.
Sincerely,
Anand
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August 29, 2015 at 19:54
It really is a heartbreaking thing to witness, I can’t even begin to imagine her condition. We are trying to give her all the support that she needs.
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August 29, 2015 at 19:57
Yes it’s true. Please keep consoling her. I wish her very best 🙂
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August 28, 2015 at 23:51
Oh my goodness! Please tell your friend that I hope she feels better soon (if she knows about your blog obviously)! My thoughts go out to her. She must be having a really difficult time….
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August 29, 2015 at 00:00
Yeah. She’s in a shock. She just keeps playing that incident over and over in her head. She needs time to heal. I can’t really begin to comprehend what kind of person would do that.
Though she doesn’t know about the blog, I will find a way to convey the message to her. Thank you for your kind words.
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