When you start dating someone new, you are on cloud 9, euphoric and ecstatic. You are convinced that your search has finally come to an end and you have found “The One”.
"When you start dating someone new, you are not dating them; you are merely dating their representatives."
Gradually, as the honeymoon period wears out, you start noticing little things, little red flags in the relationship – the way he reacts when you confront him about something; how she always has to be right; how he has to win every fight; how she is constantly suspicious about every little thing… You start having doubts… Your friends start warning you… Your friends are convinced that you are in a Toxic Relationship! But are you?
Let’s find out.
This is a follow up of my previous post on Toxic Relationships. You can check it out here. While every relationship is unique in it’s own way, there are some surefire signs to tell if your relationship has turned Toxic.
7 Signs that You Are In a Toxic Relationship
Your partner brings out the worst in you
You are always angry when you are with your loved one – you call each other names, yell at each other, make fun at the other’s expense, etc. If you are constantly on edge, sullen and grumpy. and snapping at the slightest of provocations, then think again. Your partner is supposed to supportive of you and should encourage you to be a better person, not bring you down.
You feel emotionally drained and tired
An interaction with your loved one should bring you peace and happiness. You should feel happy to interact, spend time and be with your loved one. If every date or interaction feels like a chore to you or you find excuses to avoid meeting your patner, then think again. If at the end of the day, you come out of it all drained and tired (instead of all pumped-up), that’s a red-flag you shouldn’t ignore.
Even the smallest of things can lead to a huge fight
If you are scared of speaking your mind, and it feels like you are walking on egg-shells when you are around your partner, if you cannot talk to your partner without fighting, then, do I need to tell?
My ex and I were like that. We once fought over our movie choices (and I mean a serious fight). Can you believe that? He said he had liked xyz movie. I said I liked pqr movie better, and we fought over that. We would fight daily and over the minutest of things. We loved each other, but for some reason we just got on the other’s nerves. Needless to say, things could only go downhill from there.
You do not talk about the “Issues”
In a relationship, it’s quite natural to have your differences time and again. You two are two different persons after all, with your own set of beliefs and opinions. However, after a fight, healthy couples sit together, set their differences aside and talk things through and try to understand the other’s opinion. If the other person is important to you, so should their beliefs and opinions be.
If your partner is unwilling to discuss the issues, or always interrupts you and changes the topic when you try to bring them up, then that’s one of the major warning signs. You don’t want to be with someone who will ignore your opinions and be oblivious to your feelings.
You are constantly suspicious
While some jealousy is natural, over-possessiveness is not. If you are constantly suspicious of your partner’s whereabout, and feel the prodding of the green devil whenever your partner is talking to the opposite sex, then maybe it’s your subconscious telling you that something is not right (unless you are the always-suspicious type). If you cannot even trust your partner, then why continue?
You are not yourself around your partner
If you cannot be at ease around your loved one, and are always putting on a show for them, then you shouldn’t be with that person. Yes, he might be very hot and everything, but if you have to change yourself completely to be with him, then it’s totally not worth it. You are chasing the wrong dream.
Your partner should love you for who you are. if you have to change, then it’s not you. Why be with someone with whom you cannot be “you”?
Your friends aren’t supportive of our relationship
Okay, your friends are the people who are closest to you and know you the best. They want you to be happy always Your friends won’t be blinded by all those hormones, and will be able to see your partner in a more objective way. So, if the people closest to you are complaining about your partner, do not like your partner or are dropping hints, then you should take heed and at least think about it.
Relationships should be a growing experience for both the parties involved. Everyone deserves to be happy and feel (emotionally) whole. If you are constantly pulling each other down, then think again. Try talking out things with your partner. If that doesn’t work, then maybe it’s time for a change… I have been there, and I know that’s not easy. But if you are having doubts, then you have already taken the first step!
And Be Zingy!